As Iron Sharpens Iron

I don't know about you, but I have heard this verse many times. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17). This verse was brought up in a Bible study group I was in, and then again towards the end. All of a sudden it struck me differently than it ever had before. So, what if we are in a relationship with someone that isn't sharpening us? And I mean any kind of relationship, familial, friendship, romantic, etc. What hit me like a ton of bricks is, we aren't all made of iron. Ouch. But also, yay! I say "yay" because we can know this and learn from it. Think about it... what better test is there for relationships than this?

Anyone that sews or quilts will lose their mind if you try to use their fabric scissors to cut anything other than fabric. Why? Because any other material (especially paper) will dull the scissors. The scissors will not cut the fabric easily and the fabric will snag. Diamonds cut glass without sustaining any damage in return. A knife block has many different types of knives. Serrated blades work better for cutting certain foods, while smooth blades work better for others. And dear anyone that needs to know this, the scissors in the knife block are for cutting meat... please stop using them as multipurpose scissors just because they are conveniently located and easy to find, ha-ha.

Friends, not everyone is made of the substance to sharpen you. Some are an iron and clay mixture as Daniel describes it. They may be partly strong, but they are also partly brittle. They cause division. Some are still clay being molded and are absolutely incapable of sharpening anyone yet. While we are to extend the love of Jesus to everyone, we are not meant to be in close relationship with everyone. There is a tremendous and important difference here.

I'm not saying to go out and start ending all of your relationships chaotically and accusing others of being the paper dulling your scissors. The point I am trying to make is, as Christians, we should be discerning in the relationships we chose to give ourselves the most to. If you have a friendship that leaves you feeling drained or somewhat on the negative end of the spectrum after a conversation or encounter, it might be time to do some praying for your friend and that relationship. If things don't improve, it could be a sign that the friendship was meant for just a chapter or a paragraph, and it has run-on long enough. Familial relationships are trickier to navigate. Family is family. But maybe some boundaries need to be set in place for your own benefit and theirs as well. And again, pray for the other person and the relationship. Healthy boundaries that line up with God's teaching along with prayer are important in any kind of relationship.

The verse specifically talks about people, but I would like to mention the best tool for being sharpened. It is the Word of God. The Bible should always be the first tool we turn to when we need to be sharpened. There is no better source. It's where we all have to start. Prayer is another excellent source of sharpening. I know many people that struggle with prayer for many different reasons. I have been there as well and still have dry seasons too. Prayer takes commitment and patience and learning to recognize God's voice. I promise you will get there if you continue to pursue Him in prayer. But you still need the Bible. It will help you know God better, which will help you in discerning His voice from others.

I also want to encourage you to look at yourself. What role do you play in your relationships? Are you sharpening the other people in your life? Sorry, it's a hard thing to look at ourselves, but we have to do it. We have to have accountability as well. We all fall short in some way, and that's okay. God already knows this about us. The point is to ask Him to help us in our shortcomings. It's His character we are seeking, and we can't receive it without His help. God is extremely relational. He created relationships after all, and He created us in His image. He gave us unique personalities, experiences, talents, and gifts to share with others. Use them as well as the discernment and wisdom He gives us and include Him in your relationships.

***Now, in cases of abuse or blatant repeated sin with no desire on the other person's part to repent or change, please, please, PLEASE distance yourself. God by no means intends for his children to be punching bags, crushed mentally and emotionally, or pulled away from Him by someone set in their sin. He does not condone abuse of any kind. It is deplorable to Him, and we are saved by the Blood of Christ. That kind of life is not for us. And always seek help if necessary, whether it be a trusted Christian mentor a Christian counselor.