I Asked for It...

First of all, I would like to provide a little background into the events surrounding me writing this post. I had zero intentions of writing tonight. I wrote yesterday, and mentally, I wasn't prepared to write again for another few days. My goal is to write one post every 5-7 days, so I'm extremely early here. Tonight, my plan was to relax and read since my kids are with their Nana. When I read, actually, when I do anything at all, I keep a small notebook for thoughts I want to write about close by, or I save a note in my phone. I had a thought for this post, wrote it down, sighed, and knew I needed to write it tonight. It's nearly 11:00 p.m. I got my laptop out of my bag to realize it wasn't charged so I would have to plug it in. The cord won't reach from my comfortable spot on the couch, so I had to relocate. And here we are!

Now on to the subject. I have always been regarded as strong-willed and stubborn. Sometimes as a compliment, sometimes not. Regardless of the context behind people saying this to me, I have to admit it is the truth. In both forms unfortunately.

I was reading about how many times we are allowed to go through struggles in this sin filled, imperfect world, not because God doesn't love us or has abandoned us, but sometimes it's because it's the only way He can get our attention. Hmm. Yep. I hear you loud and clear Lord. You are definitely talking to me, and I can't even begin to try to deny it. I realized in an instant, maybe if I wasn't quite so stubborn and strong-willed all the time, He might not have to go to such extreme measures to get my attention.

On top of that, my life can be pretty loud and distracting. My son... Bless the sweet boy, but God thought it would be fun to have him delivered with a megaphone attached to his vocal cords. And the child has a need to talk. Non-stop. About everything. Sometimes to no one in particular at all. Even when he's alone in his room. Every thought is verbalized. And when he isn't talking, he is making sound effects. Another sigh (but a proud one), because he got the sound effect gene from me. I got it from my dad. My daughter is usually much quieter. Until she can't handle him anymore and feels the need to compete with his volume. What's worse is I can usually manage to hyperfocus on something and pretty much tune them out. Other people don't have that superpower and I end up apologizing for not noticing how obnoxious the noise had become.

So yes, in many ways, the severity of the struggles I face that will lead me back to God have to be so loud and destructive that I HAVE to notice. Never in the moment do I think, "Oh, I see what's happening here, God is actually trying to save me from something, but I wasn't listening, again..." No, the struggles are real. Severely. And sometimes devastatingly.

While we all like to blame Satan and this imperfect world, or even question God why He allows so much heartbreak, we have to come to terms that we are creatures with wills, and we do have a choice much of the time. Many times, the choice is simply spending more time in conversation with God, in prayer and in Scripture reading. He likes talking to us both ways. He also likes it when we get out in nature, that He lovingly and beautifully designed, and just admire His creation and thank Him for sharing it with us. Worship songs are another big one for me personally. I literally feel my heart open towards Him and can feel His Spirit within me when I sing to Him. Whatever your thing is, go do that more. Tune out from the world and tune into Him.

None of this is to imply that all our struggles will go away or be minor annoyances instead of major catastrophes. Oh no. We are still humans living in the in-between of a perfect creation now fallen and a new perfect creation that has been promised. Satan and his minions still have a presence here. What I am trying to convey is to look closely at your day-to-day life. Are there areas where we create our own struggles unnecessarily? God spoke His truth into some of my shortcomings. Where is He speaking to you?